Do you keep adding items to your work “plate”, that have no business being there? Do you struggle to find time to reflect, strategize, and plan? You’re probably overfunctioning.
The great news is that when you become aware of this pattern, you’ll free up time and energy for the critical thinking and tasks that only you, as a leader, can do.
I recently came across a fantastic chapter on overfunctioning in the book Rebecoming, by clinical psychologist Dr. Merry C. Lin, PhD. The book itself isn’t leadership-focused (it’s about removing the obstacles that block our essential selves from flourishing), but in this chapter called “High-Functioning or Over-Functioning”, Lin describes how she, in her role as executive director and supervising psychologist at a large clinic, overfunctioned to exhaustion.
Defining Overfunctioning
Lin characterizes overfunctioning as ‘taking responsibility not just for your own life but for the lives of those around you.”
Driven by people-pleasing tendencies, and wanting to protect her team, her self-appointed unofficial roles included “supervisor, plumber, lightbulb changer, repair person, administrative assistant, file clerk, housekeeper, and cheerleader.
Overfunctioners have very high capacities, are responsible and reliable, and frequently perform at a high level. High performers have received lifelong applause and afffirmation for their impressive performance. They get promoted into leadership because of their ability to multitask, meet high expectations, do the hard things, and get things done.
Lin writes: “High functioning leaders…are driven by high expectations and can end up in this dance of over-functioning to compensate for gaps they see around them. And so, committed conscientious people often burn themselves out.”
Signs of Overfunctioning
Overfunctioning looks like this:
- Doing work that you know you should delegate to someone else
- Taking care of tasks that are another person’s responsibility
- Setting goals for other people that they have not set for themselves
- Worrying excessively about others and their problems
- Offering frequent advice to help others
- Feeling personally responsible for the feelings and happiness of another person
Overfunctioning isn’t just overdoing. It’s also overthinking and overfeeling for others in a way that interferes with their self-efficacy.
Now here’s the kicker. According to Lin, overfunctioning is always driven by anxiety. “This anxiety keeps us in hypervigilant overdrive,” she writes. “Fear of failure or letting people down nips at our heels, keeping us in high gear.”
This is particularly challenging if our sense of worth is directly connected to our need to be seen by others as high-functioning. Ouch. I relate to this deeply. Do you?
Perhaps even more importantly, overfunctioning always leads to someone else underfunctioning. As a leader, despite your good intentions, you may be inhibiting the growth of your team. And when that overfunctioning spreads to our personal lives (which it inevitably does), our eternally well-meaning selves can sabotage the autonomy and development of those we love.
How to Overcome and Change This Pattern
Lin describes six steps to overcome your tendency to overfunction:
1. Cultivate awareness of your underlying anxiety and how it motives you to act
Notice your tendency to jump in to control a situation or person. Ask yourself where your anxiety is coming from, and why you are trying to control that situation.
2. Learn to tolerate the discomfort of letting go
Get curious about what you are worried will happen if you don’t step in. As you feel your anxiety come up, do something new to calm it. Take some breaths. Do something else that needs doing.
3. Recognize and accept that overfunctioning is a form of self-soothing
Overfunctioning works. When we step in, it briefly lowers our anxiety. Until the next situation comes along and it rises again. Instead of focusing on jumping in or worrying, notice and take responsibility for your reaction. Take your focus off the other person or situation, and turn it compassionately on yourself.
4. Give yourself grace and patience
Shifting a deeply ingrained response takes time. I often say to the leaders I work with, that as soon as they’re watching for a pattern, they’ll notice it as they’re doing it or after the fact. This is something to celebrate rather than despair over. You’re becoming aware. That’s an essential first step for implementing change. If you can, go back and undo whatever you caught yourself doing.
5. Use self-care to repair the impact of chronic overfunctioning
In Lin’s words: “Stop white knuckling it and pushing yourself to keep doing so much for everyone!” Note your exhaustion and the impact of overfunctioning on your stress levels and body. Instead of doing something for someone else, ask: “What do I need, right now?”.
6. Set new boundaries
Take a look at all the things you do at work. What’s truly yours to do? Make a list of the tasks you’ve taken on due to overfunctioning. Once you’re clear on what to stop doing, consider having an honest conversation with your team. Be prepared that while some may feel relieved, those who have been underfunctioning may feel anxious.
As always, I recommend working with a coach, mentor, or therapist as you navigate and address this. As Lin writes: “There may need to be a season of slowly letting go…as your coworkers learn the skills they need to take on the responsibility that’s properly theirs.”
Additional articles on the topic of Leadership:
Self Care Drives Leadership and Career Success
Stressed Out? You May Be Too Conscientious
© 2024 Dr. Susan Biali Haas
