So amazing, Dr. Biali 🙂 You speak about so many things that are so difficult for many to admit to and to face. Thanks for continuously being such a truthful, honest and awesome source of inspiration. You’re amazing.
I find that I am constantly trying to build up my confidence and even though I’m much better now than I used to be and believe in myself more and my abilities, it seems like it just takes one little negative thing to tear it all down. I always wonder why I tend to have this, in a way, self-destructive behavior?
I am male and have challenges with finding a mate I think I need someone to direct me to know what is that a girl is seeking in a man and how can I be attractive to them
I struggle with believing that I can accomplish my personal “super goal” of being a social worker because I have faced so very many road blocks and now I think that those delays have used up all of the strength and power that I had in the beginning. I believe there are more road blocks hiding ahead, I believe I am too ill and tired to fight anymore, I believe there are those who will create daily sabotage. I don’t feel well enough anymore, I can’t concentrate, I can’t finish.
Dear Brenda,
Sometimes it is time to give up and sometimes (most of the time?) it is a season in which you put one foot in front of the other whenever you manage to, and continue to move forward. I can relate to how you’re feeling – do you ever pray for help? That’s what I do whenever I find it almost impossible to move forward on my own strength. And I somehow find my strength again. Cheering you on! You can do it. Becoming a social worker is a very worthy goal, the world needs you!
Dear Sofia, what you’re describing is (I believe) a common phenomenon. It’s well known that the negative – unfortunately – tends to dramatically overweigh the positive in most people’s minds. A person can get 100 compliments but if they hear one harsh criticism within the “happy 100”, it is the criticism they will be tempted to focus on, that is human. I have learned to fight against this, by very deliberately focusing on the positive. My mind often wants to keep going back to the negative, so I have to remind it about the positive again and again, until that’s where I stay. (of course, if there was something valid in the negative, I will work on it, but I won’t let it drag me down, at least I try!). Don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you, that will make it worse and make you even harder on yourself. It sounds like you’re pretty normal : ).
What a good question. I would encourage you to ask female friends or family members about how to treat a woman in a way that is attractive. I personally would say that being kind, attentive, honest, friendly, and interested in her (i.e. asking questions about what’s important to her), without being too intense, is a good place to start.
Thank you. I am not big on prayer but I do try to “feel” the direction that I am meant to go. So, in this place now, the goal is to provide love and care. Obtaining the degree is not the answer to achieving the goal. The cost of the degree is far too great and keeps me from being able to give love and care and support for a very long time when without it, I could begin tomorrow. Thank you again!
As I read the comments that I had written on this blog some time ago, I felt sad. I sounded defeated. I am up to date on your latest posts, Dr Susan, and the one about saying \”no\” was written just for me. Anyway, I am finishing up four more classes toward my SW degree! All I needed to do was tell people that I was doing this for me and that they would have to take a back seat for awhile. I will soon have accomplished my greatest dream!
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So amazing, Dr. Biali 🙂 You speak about so many things that are so difficult for many to admit to and to face. Thanks for continuously being such a truthful, honest and awesome source of inspiration. You’re amazing.
Renee
I find that I am constantly trying to build up my confidence and even though I’m much better now than I used to be and believe in myself more and my abilities, it seems like it just takes one little negative thing to tear it all down. I always wonder why I tend to have this, in a way, self-destructive behavior?
I am male and have challenges with finding a mate I think I need someone to direct me to know what is that a girl is seeking in a man and how can I be attractive to them
I struggle with believing that I can accomplish my personal “super goal” of being a social worker because I have faced so very many road blocks and now I think that those delays have used up all of the strength and power that I had in the beginning. I believe there are more road blocks hiding ahead, I believe I am too ill and tired to fight anymore, I believe there are those who will create daily sabotage. I don’t feel well enough anymore, I can’t concentrate, I can’t finish.
Dear Brenda,
Sometimes it is time to give up and sometimes (most of the time?) it is a season in which you put one foot in front of the other whenever you manage to, and continue to move forward. I can relate to how you’re feeling – do you ever pray for help? That’s what I do whenever I find it almost impossible to move forward on my own strength. And I somehow find my strength again. Cheering you on! You can do it. Becoming a social worker is a very worthy goal, the world needs you!
Dear Sofia, what you’re describing is (I believe) a common phenomenon. It’s well known that the negative – unfortunately – tends to dramatically overweigh the positive in most people’s minds. A person can get 100 compliments but if they hear one harsh criticism within the “happy 100”, it is the criticism they will be tempted to focus on, that is human. I have learned to fight against this, by very deliberately focusing on the positive. My mind often wants to keep going back to the negative, so I have to remind it about the positive again and again, until that’s where I stay. (of course, if there was something valid in the negative, I will work on it, but I won’t let it drag me down, at least I try!). Don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you, that will make it worse and make you even harder on yourself. It sounds like you’re pretty normal : ).
What a good question. I would encourage you to ask female friends or family members about how to treat a woman in a way that is attractive. I personally would say that being kind, attentive, honest, friendly, and interested in her (i.e. asking questions about what’s important to her), without being too intense, is a good place to start.
thank you
I needed to read this
Thank you. I am not big on prayer but I do try to “feel” the direction that I am meant to go. So, in this place now, the goal is to provide love and care. Obtaining the degree is not the answer to achieving the goal. The cost of the degree is far too great and keeps me from being able to give love and care and support for a very long time when without it, I could begin tomorrow. Thank you again!
As I read the comments that I had written on this blog some time ago, I felt sad. I sounded defeated. I am up to date on your latest posts, Dr Susan, and the one about saying \”no\” was written just for me. Anyway, I am finishing up four more classes toward my SW degree! All I needed to do was tell people that I was doing this for me and that they would have to take a back seat for awhile. I will soon have accomplished my greatest dream!